Tour de Lance

In related news, the French are still a bunch of whiny cry-babies. Why can't they accept the fact that Lance won because he had only one testicle? Any guy who looks at those bike seats can say this is the determining factor. Argument 1) Wind Drag. The guy had waaaay less wind drag on the bike. His shorts fit that much tighter, giving him that much less wind resistance. Argument 2) Less pain. With only one testicle, he only endured half the pain of having the scrotum smacked repeatedly throughout the bike races across surrendourland.

Another minor factor in his victory is his use of shark skin technology. Lance had a painful surgery to replace all his skin with shark skin to reduce the amount of drag he experiences. I read it in a French paper, so it must be true.